Is a Rebuke From a Friend Better Than a Kiss From Jezebel?

Will the Holy Spirit ever speak words to us that cause pain? Or, can we always reject painful words as from being from the devil?

My kids and I listen to the local Christian radio stations every morning when I take them to school. One of my daughter’s favorite songs is Who I Am by Blanca. It’s a very catchy tune. She and I dance in the car, and I’m sure it freaks out the other drivers on the road.

There’s just one problem. One of the lyrics makes me a little bit crazy every time I hear it. Here’s the line, “Turning down, tuning out, every single word that caused me pain.”

I’ve read an interview with Blanca explaining what this song is about, and she sounds like a solid woman of God. I’m sure God is doing great things through her ministry. Unfortunately, though, this lengthy interview never broaches the subject of our line in question. Therefore, we are seemingly left to take her words at face value. http://www.newreleasetoday.com/article.php?article_id=1501

So, do you believe that we should turn down and tune out every single word that has ever caused us pain? That certainly feels good to sing, but … every single one? Our culture tells us to listen to our hearts, but the Bible says that our hearts will deceive us time and time again (Jeremiah 17:9). Therefore, let’s see what the Bible has to say.

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.  – Proverbs 27:5-6 (NASB)

Though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while—I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation.  – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 (NASB)

Those are just two of many examples from the Bible where God’s word tells us that the Holy Spirit will sometimes use pain as a way to guide us onto the path of life. The world, on the other hand, hates the pain of being told ‘no’ and views discipline and correction as negativity not worthy of one’s time. James Harden embodies this mindset well in his recent Adidas commercial. He brashly quotes Bernard Baruch, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” http://footwearnews.com/2015/focus/athletic-outdoor/james-harden-adidas-deal-creators-never-follow-film-video-173675/

It would seem then that to Harden, if God matters, He won’t mind what you do. And if you take Blanca’s lyrics at face value, if the Holy Spirit ever rebukes you or calls you to repent, tune Him out. Honestly, I’m not sure which of these philosophies is more dangerous. I think a strong case could be made for each one.

Something that makes parenting extra-tough is when people or circumstances undermine the godly lessons my wife and I are trying to instill in our kids. You can probably relate. I knew I would need to guard them from the unholy messages of the secular stations, but I didn’t think I would need to be as vigilant in talking with them about certain questionable messages in the Christian songs.

One character trait I want both of my children to develop is the love of correction … to see discipline as a blessing. Like Olympic athletes who long to be pushed by their coaches, the scriptures call us to see godly correction as life and health to our bodies and souls. So let me encourage you to take the loving and wise counsel of the early Christians and humbly receive the correction of the One who truly matters.

“Discipline, the safeguard of hope, the bond of faith, the guide of the way of salvation, the stimulus and nourishment of good dispositions, the teacher of virtue, causes us to abide always in Christ, and to live continually for God, and to attain to the heavenly promises and to the divine rewards. To follow her is wholesome, and to turn away from her and neglect her is deadly. … And from Solomon we have received the mandates of wisdom, warning us: ‘My son, despise not the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked by Him: for whom the Lord loves He corrects.’” Cyprian 250CE Volume 5 p. 753-754 [CD-ROM]